I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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