Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
