ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
