Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
