Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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