So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
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Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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