his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
