Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
