K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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