I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
