shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
