You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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