all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm sobbing to NWA
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
