She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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