i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize