you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
