in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
