last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
