The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize