he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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