I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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