apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
