I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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