apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My ass is underappreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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