I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
do herpes really smell.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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