I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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