Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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