Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
