It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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