if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
