What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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