Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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