Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
