Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
