quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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