I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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