i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
