hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
