Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
