She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
