Taylor Swift is so right about you.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
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So many bounce houses so little time
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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