and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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