Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well I just put wine in my tea
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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