thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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