you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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