She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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