I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
