Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
