woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
