he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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