I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
