that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
