speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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