I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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