We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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