I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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