haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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