Who did Billy Mays play for?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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