We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
