I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
