and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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