Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
