I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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