Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
