So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
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should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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