how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
